ok fine wat about this one, do u like this rap?

Question

Ive already done this but with no real answers and also nobodys told me wat its called wen the first letter of every line makes a word, read it down and i obviously forced a few lines which is bad.

Lyrical creativity seems to have floated away
Yawnin from the boredom at the rhymes today
Reachin out for hip hop but it passed away
I know i know it seems a bit cliche
Killed by the sound of a bay bay
Accomplice in the crime was crankin away
Leanin and rockin wit they brand new chain

Gainin all the fame without using they brain
Add a dope beat then repeat the same word
Nothin in the verse that ive never heard
Go read a dictionary and try to get cured
Subjects in these songs contain the same ol thing
Their chains, bracelets, watches and their rings
Altogether mixed with a violent theme

0 amount of effort needed for their song
8 years gone try and prove me wrong

Answer 1

Its nice and deep..You just need to add some creativity and metaphors. You also need to start rhyming Syllables also, not just words. Do double or even triple rhyming too. Yeah you can tell that you forced some of it. You'll get better. Listen to Eminem-Infinite( http://youtube.com/watch?v=KYdh8EDWT5M ) and you'll know EXACTLY what I'm talkin about with the triple..quadruple syllable rhyming.



I like that one part

"Gainin all the fame without using they brain"

Thats like triple rhyming gAINin all the fAME without using they brAIN. You should follow it up with another triple rhyme like that too, as much as you can. Just listen to that Eminem Track..trust me.



Its pretty good, but it wont really grab peoples attention They'll listen to it and go on to the next artist. If you stick to it like I said you'll grab them in.



Listen to Lil Wayne for creativity and metaphors

Lupe Fiasco for Real Rap

Common for Real Rap and Multiple rhyming



Good luck

Don't give up your dreams.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

It is called an acrostic. I've got to say this is great, it rhymes and addresses pretty much the state of rap today. I love it!

Answer 4

There was someone who posted a question the other day and I believe they called it an acrostic poem.

This is better than the last poem.

Answer 5

hahaha, well done .



heres mine:



a quick rap? ok hello, heres mine yo

asimo my name is welcome to my rhyme show

you wannabe i break spines of wiseguys with pistols

tear your chest open like surgery in hospitals

copying who? asimo more scarred than fiends nostrils

you wack fool ill stab in you in your face just for asking me

bury you in boiling hot desert sand with blasting heat

smash you with a solid gold mase leave your body raw

sprinkle salt in your wounds as i hit you with a cannonball

strangle you in american flags and drop you in palestine

with fifty stars of david tattoed to your spine

you dont want to test kid just cause you think you heavy

i was writing rhymes when you was in your pram with teddy

mcs know asimo bring more beef than spaghetti

wiseguys get petrified i got more lines than fishing jettys

asimo harder than paedophiles near a kindergarten

hip hop martyr i burn mcs with fire starters

Asimo spitting lines heavy like a bag of ice

constantly paralyse little kids with poisoned lines

while you dont belong like demons in paradise

asimo connecting wack mcs with the afterlife

Answer 6

Haha I LOVE IT :] Forreals Haha, it made me smile, seriously, you need to publish this

Answer 7

kudos, this is way better than what you posted before, you may have talent after all.

Answer 8

thats actually quite good. good content and it rhymes well