What are the basics of writing a good rap song?

Question

Well it seem like no one likes this song of mine

I'm reposting to get more opinions!

Chorus:Lord forgive me for my siiiiiiins, Lord please forgive me for what I dooooooo, for you know my heart is truuue yeaaah!(x2)
Verse 1: Can’t really remember how it all started/ all I know is I felt like garbage/always skippin school makin my mom mad/and deep in her heart I knew she was sad/then like a spark of lighting/were going at each other bitching/and fighting/I never thought of putting my hands on my mother/I already felt bad putting hands on my brother/cause I know I’ll never have another quiete like him/who knew life would be so dark and so grim/chorus/Verse 2: 07’ all summer long/in a small old house just trying to get along/well not really a house…it felt more like a shack/I just wanted to runaway and never come back/now were back at it again/me and my brother giving you hell/not knowing you were gonna end up in a jail cell/they had a warrant for your arrest/man damn now I’m strested/chorus/Verse 3: man that summer seemed long/I remember DMX ‘Slippin’ was the theme song/and at the end of summer we both said so long/now were both livin somewhere else/can’t wait to live together again and just be our self/and no more lyin/and no more tears no cryin/so none of us feel like dyin’/some how some way things will be better on day/but for right now lets get closer/so regrets never approach us/chorus/

Answer 1

As a ghostwriter myself, I love it, it has a great message. But you should make the Verses longer, each of them should be at least 16 bar lines long. The chours, work on it, if it will be sung then it's good and okay. Make an outro to the song. I would give it a 9/10. Great.

Answer 2

i like the song as a whole. its got a good message. very deep like CASPER said. but in order to make it more musical, make the lyrical lines about the same length and try to have each line be similar in syllable length. that should help with the musicality of it. other than that, i think it would be a good r&b or soft rap song.

if u go big, i want an autograph.

Answer 3

I like it, its pretty deep, but I wouldn't really listen to it. You just need to add more creativity in it. Metaphors and stuff, and you need to switch up your style a lil bit. It has potential. Try double and even triple rhyming. Start rhyming syllables too, not just words. Some of the stuff you need to take out and add more, Some parts it sounds like you were pushing to get the rhyme in, but it didn't belong. Listen to some of Eminems stuff, You'll see exacly what I'm talking about with the triple and syllable rhyming.



Don't give up, you can do it.



Dont forget me when you blow up :D

Answer 4

wtf was that??