What do you think of my poem or rap?

Question

Wonder if spires will ever inspire the mind,
Runaway like a castaway, so no way im i movin bck in time,
heart's locked away in a safe, i take it out when i rhyme,
its a blank face you see, cuz expressions is what i keep inside,
Earth is fortress for that limited time you spend,
Birth is not worth memory, memory is like ink to pen,
Cuz its the first line of a bestseller, and we only remember the end,
And you never understand a story by reading the last line, there's a long road before every bend,
And i wonder if clouds move faster, when you gaze deeper,
They reveal the skies, and answers flood in,like a cheater,
It all makes sense now, unmute this mouth with no speaker,
Its a sad round picture,
Chase the money but you will never get richer,
Rich is not the gold you hold, its the gold found within your soul,
Embrace the grace that falls on me every day,
The gray I see every morning, I know the fog has come to play,
These cold circles that surround me everyday know little, so dont stay,
Black and White as blank as the face I see staring back at me when I look in the mirror,
That same stare that gives my spine a shiver.
Transparent, words penetrate me, and leave me, so I dont hear,
Been put through peaks and troughs, waves of a river,
I wonder how you wonder, what I do here,
You know little of my daily fears,
Me and I only, know me,
And I hide my story, metaphorically, behind my lines for you to find,
And if you find yourself failing everytime,
You know little of me.

Answer 1

@ Treeman "Not bad. I can't imagine the flow in my head, but that doesn't really matter." [2]



- Eh yes it does. Flow is hella important dogg.

Answer 2

I Couldnt think of of one For My group (Nuggets) So I Did One approximately My Fav participant. refrain Carmelo (dum dum dum) Carmelo (dum dum dum) Carmelo (dum dum dum) Carmelo Verse a million He can do this Denver city something to teach This Franchise around refrain Verse 2 He Has an exceptionally thrilling First call he's extra acceptable Than LeBron James refrain Verse 3 on the courtroom He knows all styles of tricks He have been given Suspended For Brawlin With The Knicks refrain Verse 4 Carmelo Anthony Is Gonna Take those Nuggets To Victory end track circulate Nuggets

Answer 3

Not bad. I can't imagine the flow in my head, but that doesn't really matter.



Please check out my song too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7_6JesaJMU



@NasirJones

I meant when I'm reading. Just cause i can't read the flow doesn't mean there isn't one.

Answer 4

Its alright but i think hank hills version is way better.

Answer 5

whats it supose to be about? its jus about random stuff.... what are you trying to get out of your song?

Answer 6

It's cool.

Answer 7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OxWD85Ngz4

Answer 8

It's good.